She had 45 days to save two lives and nobody to help her do it

What happens when you're facing the impossible and there's literally no one coming to save you? Garcia was 8 months pregnant, 1,000 miles from home, with an 8-year-old daughter by her side. No family. No friends. No support system.

Then came the double attempted homicide that changed everything.

Choked and beaten while 8 months pregnant, Garcia escaped with her daughter to a neighbor's house at 11:30 PM, barefoot in pajamas. The police gave her a piece of paper with 1-800 numbers and said "do your thing."

She had exactly 45 days until her due date to figure out how to save two lives - her unborn baby and her 8-year-old daughter. The crushing reality? She was completely on her own.

900 phone calls later, Garcia discovered the brutal truth about crisis: when you need help the most, the system fails you. But she also discovered something else - sometimes being the only one who can save everything becomes your greatest source of power.

Discover how a woman with no resources, no support, and no time became her own savior - and why your isolation in crisis might be preparing you for your greatest breakthrough.

Chapters

• 0:02 Meeting Garcia, Nonprofit Founder
• 1:30 Surviving Double Attempted Homicide
• 3:22 900 Phone Calls to Find Help
• 7:08 Protecting Children Above All Else
• 11:50 Finding an Advocate Changes Everything
• 17:29 Three Minutes to Pack and Escape

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Rise from the Ashes. I am absolutely honored and excited to be in front of Garcia today. Now, those people who watch this enough. Forget me with names, second names. I am terrible, garcia. How are you Please introduce yourself and tell people who you are and what you do?

Speaker 2: 0:22

I am great. Thank you for having me here. I go by A Garcia, but those that know me, agape is the name and I am the founder of Confronting Domestic Violence, a 501c3.

Speaker 1: 0:34

So where are you located? And tell me a bit about the 501c3 process, because it's not as straightforward as people usually think, is it? It's not as straightforward as people usually think.

Speaker 2: 0:43

Is it, oh, the process? No, not at all. Not at all. The process can be very lengthy. It depends which route you want to take the short form or the long form. I always suggest do what's hardest first and get it out of the way, so you're not having to get what you swept under the carpet later on.

Speaker 1: 1:01

Now domestic violence is very close to your heart and your mission, for not just yourself, but for many thousands and possibly millions. I don't know the numbers off the top of my head, and these are real numbers. Why are you so focused on providing support, guidance and elevation for this mission of yours?

Speaker 2: 1:30

Absolutely. 20 years ago, I survived a double attempted homicide. I was eight months pregnant, I was over a thousand miles away from home and I had an eight-year-old daughter present at the time. So I was in a brand new space and I had no friends, no family and I knew nothing and had nowhere to go. So today, that's why confronting domestic violence is in existence, because of what I've went through my personal experience there is such a thing as post-traumatic growth, and I have gone through that journey, and our mission at Confronting Domestic Violence is to provide real-time resources to real-time victims and help families relocate when they have a safe place to go and not the means to get there. So I'm bridging those gaps.

Speaker 1: 2:17

I love that. Can we go back for a moment to a time after that incident? What was the follow-up? Was there any help for you, was there any resources back then, or were you just completely? Did you feel just alone?

Speaker 2: 2:32

All of the above. So, of course, I felt alone, because that was reality. I was alone and resources being in a brand new state. I didn't understand or know the laws. I had to do a lot of research to learn them. I didn't get much sleep, obviously, after that because I was so extremely worried. I couldn't believe that I had just moved and this was my new life to figure out.

Speaker 2: 2:56

And as many places as I went I can start with the arrest right, the police. They give you 1-800 numbers to call. They give you a piece of paper and say, okay, do your thing. And so I did exactly that. I started with those 1-800 numbers. I stood in line for food stamps, I stood in line for help, I stood in line for anything that I could receive as a victim, with nothing. And let me tell you that I probably made over 900 phone calls before I found somebody who actually was able to assist me. And I can share with you that if I didn't have the tenacity to fight and advocate for myself, I probably would not have, I probably would not be here today and I would not have been able to make it this far either. So that's one thing that I really hone in on is if you don't know who you are in a moment of devastation, that's totally normal. Know who you're not and start there. I love that advice.

Speaker 1: 4:01

I love that advice and thank you truly. Thank you not just from me, but from the thousands of people who have at some level been affected by domestic violence. It's a campaign that is not just close to your heart. It's what you've decided to onboard and envision. But one of the things I love about you is it's not for yourself, it's to create freedom for others. About you is it's not for yourself, it's to create freedom for others, and you've turned trauma into a growth spurt, but it became more about a lifestyle already, didn't it?

Speaker 2: 4:36

Yeah, I feel like this is my life mission, my purpose. I didn't go through all of this for nothing and I don't think anybody deserves to go through it. And unfortunately, you know the numbers that you, as you talked about before. You know, according to the Department of Justice, one out of three women and one out of four men either have experienced or will experience a form of domestic violence in their lifetime. And, with that being said, I know all too well what it's like to be completely devastated. And the unfortunate part is that you're not looking for these resources until you need them.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Yeah, where did you first find out that after the hundred I'm trying to comprehend the hundred phone calls, 900 phone calls sorry, not a hundred phone calls Most people get bored about 15 and say, oh, nevermind. Most people get bored about 15 and say, oh, never mind. But the persistence, the 900, that's pretty. The KFC the Colonel went around 124 banks before he got a yes. You went to 900 phone calls before you got a yes. In some direction, that's commitment for you. What was the driving force behind it? You said you had a child, eight-year-old child. Was that a part of it or was it something much deeper?

Speaker 2: 5:48

All the above right. So I had my eight-year-old child and I had a brand new baby right. Wow, because I was eight months pregnant. I was 45 days from the date of the incident to my due date, so I have 45 days to figure out. What was I going to do? Of course, I did not figure it out in 45 days.

Speaker 2: 6:09

That's where I started just saying to myself I need to advocate for myself and talk to the leasing office. How am I going to get myself off of this lease without my credit being dinged, without having this on my background, so I can then go and find something else? It was. It's just a slew of things, but the thing is that when you're in a place of sink or swim, you're going to make that choice, and that's where I was at. So I had no choice but to make these calls because I did not have family, I did not have friends, I did not know the area. I was only able to tap into the resources in my area. Otherwise, I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know where else to go.

Speaker 1: 7:05

Perhaps for you from a male point of view.

Speaker 2: 7:07

I can't even fathom what that was like going through not just the physical journey but the emotional journey and the mental journey, the uncertainty and the hormones pregnancy brings.

Speaker 1: 7:12

On top of all that, again, I can't even speak into it. I have no clue. I know I've got a lot of women listeners. Could you share that experience? It just helps them get a grasp of what that journey was actually like for a pregnant woman, or post-pregnancy and pre-pregnancy and in semester.

Speaker 2: 7:29

Absolutely 100%. I can tell you hands down. I feel it right now like it was yesterday and I'm a mama bear. I am going to protect my children. I don't care who you are, where you're coming from, it's all about the kids, especially in that, under those circumstances, right? So, as I understood that I'm their sole provider, I'm the only one that's here to protect them. I'm the only one here that's to provide for them. I have to figure it out. This is on me to do, and that was my driving force.

Speaker 2: 8:00

If I got a few hours of sleep, I was great, because my adrenaline was flowing so hard and I could feel it through my veins. I was just so committed on finding a way out and getting see. I'm getting choked up and getting what I needed because it was about my kids. I put them above me. They need to eat before I need to eat. They have to have a good night's sleep before I do. They need to feel safe at home more than I do. And let me tell you, during that 45 days, while I was trying to rush this birth, I'm literally carrying my eight-year-old, trying to make my water break. Of course, that did not happen, but I just wanted to have my child out of me faster, so my unborn child didn't have to feel all of what I was suffering and going through. And, like I said, it didn't happen.

Speaker 2: 8:51

However, I had an escape plan for my daughter. I had the couch in front of the front door. I had things like Jimmy rigged all across the apartment so that God forbid if he got out and he came to the door. I always had that in my mind, but there was that again, that tenacity and persistence of what's the status today? Is he still behind bars? Are you holding him? What's going on? What's happening? As long as I knew that he was still apprehended, then that gave me another day of researching and figuring out what I needed to do. Hands down. By far. The kids were my priority, my strength, my purpose, my drive, everything my purpose my drive everything.

Speaker 1: 9:38

Thank you for sharing that. I can not just put the audience, who can physically see this video on YouTube or whatever platform you're listening on, rumble or listening. Go and have a listen again and hear the compassion in Garcia's voice and what she's saying. You can hear the journey. This is truly not about another interview. This is about her reliving a journey that she went through, but she lives every day in someone else's vision. Another person approaches her and says I've had a similar experience.

Speaker 1: 10:20

This is what Garcia does. She lives and breathes it, and it's not for herself. That's her mission. That's a part of who she is, but it's for people like you listening to this and if you've had an experience of this, pick up the phone, tell somebody. Pick up the phone to Garcia or give her an email. I can't give you the personal details on here, obviously, but pick up the phone, tell someone about what's going on. Don't hide from it. That's right, because the longer you hide and Garcia can verify this the more it will continue, and the more it continues in your life, the more you accept and devalue who you truly are. Please, for your future's sake, for your children's sake, don't do that.

Speaker 1: 11:08

This is my battle cry to all them people out there, male and female, while going through something right now, because it's a predominantly female challenge. People go through and it's more commercialized in the female world. It doesn't mean men don't go through it, because I'm sure they do. I don't know the numbers, probably Garcia does. She knows a lot more about this than I would ever do. So you've gone through that journey. Thank you truly for sharing that. It puts things not just for myself but for the audience and you're listening into context and you've gone through the journey and you found, after 900 phone calls which just blows my mind, what next? What? Obviously it wasn't smooth, like just suddenly did it all stopped? What was the procedure for you next? Was there help given straight away? Were there other barriers and challenges? Because it was a longer journey it was absolutely.

Speaker 2: 12:05

My whole thing was okay. I need to find a job right, because I wasn't going to get hired at eight months pregnant. So the unfortunate part was that it robbed me of bonding with my newborn child, because my needs were to have money to pay for rent and find a place to move into that was safe, without a couch in front of the door or without ropes hanging from windows. Okay, and so I had to basically let go of almost everything. Anything I couldn't carry on my back that had to be left behind. Anything I couldn't sell or get rid of had to be left behind. Anything that I had planned as it relates to I was in school, but I had to leave that as well. I had a vision of a career path. I had to leave that as well, because it just boiled down to what are my immediate needs, what is going to pay the bills and put food on the table, because that's what I'm going to take, because that's what I need. And that's how it started and, thank goodness, I was able to get a job at probably my child was maybe two months. The moment that daycare can accept the kids is when he was there and that allowed me to have an office with a phone and I was able to blast through a whole lot more phone calls than I was at home dealing with the kids and I will I'll be honest here and say that it wasn't until I found an advocate. A lot of the 1-800 numbers that I called only gave me another 1-800 number and another one, and so many were disconnected and so many just gave me other ones. And it just wasn't until I really connected with an advocate. And I am so big on advocating for survivors and victims to get and find an advocate, and I am so big on advocating for survivors and victims to get and find an advocate. Go to your attorney general, find out who's on the roster as advocates. Figure out who and what is available. Whoever you're talking to find out. Today I now know where I can send people to get this information.

Speaker 2: 14:14

Back then I did not, and so that advocate. The reason why I'm so big on the advocate is because that's their life too. They're already informed of the different programs that your state has, the different opportunities that are available for victims. Also your rights as a victim. There are so many things that I never knew that this advocate was able to share with me.

Speaker 2: 14:39

And then it was up to me to go and take I don't want to say take advantage of it, but reap the benefits from it Right. For example I'll give a few examples I was able to take the father's name off the birth certificate, so there's no rights at all. You know what? That eliminated Everything I needed to do in court. There was no court because there was no name. So I was so elated that I was able to do that. Another thing is there's a lot of states that offer, through legislation, confidential address program. So if you have a restraining order, if you have some sort of report, police report, to show that your life is at risk, you can be a part of a confidential address program. Then this way it's not public record. Those are just two, but there's many, and so I was able to really have that help with that advocate through the advocate.

Speaker 1: 15:42

I've got so many questions I this has opened up a whole new debate in my head. Oh my god, what about this? I'm just trying to think of what's going to best serve the person. Listen to this if they've had an experience and they're going through this now. For instance, my max we're not max, max has. Max has come to join me. My max is my cat and he decides never now again to just come and join the interview. So say hello to everybody, max, and then you can go and bugger off somewhere and leave me alone. Great, the imagine someone else going through this right now in this day and age. I don't know in california, because I know a few people in California. Where would you recommend? What's the first thing you recommend they do right now?

Speaker 2: 16:26

If they're going through an exact situation as myself.

Speaker 1: 16:28

Very similar. Yes, so if it's violence in the home, they're married, they're scared, they don't know what to do next.

Speaker 2: 16:35

The person't leave this sort of scenario because that's got to be the people just on my head that's what I was going to say is that everybody's situation is different and the phone calls that I get on a daily basis there's no two that are alike. For example, what I just shared with you maybe I didn't share the whole thing, but when I survived that double attempted homicide, I was able to run out of the home with my daughter because I was able to push him off of me. I was on the floor being choked and punched all at the same time, while he's straddling my pregnant stomach, and I called the police. I went to a neighbor's house that I saw the lights on at 1130 at night and I'm pounding on the door barefoot in pajamas with my kid and I'm like can I please use your phone? I need to call the police. They let me.

Speaker 2: 17:18

So from that moment when he was arrested, for me it was done. I chose not to engage further and I chose not to pursue or accept the collect calls and I chose to testify, which was the hardest thing to do. And that's a whole nother episode, because for victims to get on the podium and testify when they're bringing the offender into the room is almost re-victimization. Okay, because it took my voice from me. I was ready to testify. He comes in, we lock eyes and all of a sudden my voice went like this and I couldn't even talk. Okay, so that was my situation.

Speaker 2: 17:57

Now, with other people, sometimes I'm getting phone calls where they just left the house and they know that they're done, they're not going back and they just need to know what to do and where to go. So in those circumstances, I suggest that they call or contact their family justice center so they understand what their rights are, because I don't know how long they've been married. I'm not asking these questions so they understand what their rights are Because I don't know how long they've been married. I'm not asking these questions. I'm trying to identify what is the current needs right now, based on their current circumstances, because as your circumstances change, so do your needs right. So if they know they're not going to go back, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2: 18:33

And you want to know what your rights are? Again, department, family justice department. But are you going to go to a hotel? Are you going to go to your friend's house? Are you going to your parent's house? Does that person know where you might go? Do you have your tracker on? Do you have your location on? These are things you might want to turn off. If you need to go and get an emergency restraining order, you go to the local courthouse, you go to the self-help center. Yes, you might be there all day. It's take a number and wait for your name to be called. But if you don't know the process or the procedures, then wait for your name to be called and have somebody help you.

Speaker 1: 19:03

I love that advice because this I don't know any of this stuff. I can never advise somebody on what to do in this sort of situation Not, I would ever get a call like that Very unlikely I'd get a call for this. Like they're very unlikely I'd get a call for this. But this is why I love these interviews because you've been through that journey and, horrific as it was, you've now empowered yourself with the knowledge to help people actualize that from the other side of that journey. But you already know what it feels like in some degree and and a huge degree of what you went through way back when. And obviously laws have changed.

Speaker 1: 19:42

The next part of this and the next episode. I want to go in through what laws and legislations and what you're actually doing specifically to really hone in on this movement you've got for these people and the nonprofit and who it actually serves, how to get all of that in contact with you. So, if you're listening now, get on to this next episode, which will be out on Wednesday and Wednesday, next Wednesday, whenever it is, and then Garcia can tell you what's actually going on. Garcia, before we leave this episode, is there anything else you want to leave the audience with. I know it's been emotional, it's been compassionate and I really want to thank you for your openness, your honesty and being vulnerable there. It means so much to me and the audience.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Yeah, thank you for allowing me this opportunity to do and just to put things into perspective, I would like to drop something here, and that is you mentioned you're in California. So imagine you just get a knock on your door or the alert on your phone and you have three minutes to pack your stuff because the fire is only two blocks away. You need to know in three minutes what are you going to pack what's important to you and get out. That's the same thing for a survivor.

Speaker 1: 20:47

I love that.

Speaker 2: 20:49

Three minutes or less, yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:51

That's very good advice, garcia, thank you very much for joining me today, my audience. Be safe, be well, be blessed. I love you. Please share the message. It's going to help somebody, guaranteed. This is going to help somebody Till next time. See you very shortly. This is Royce from the Attiers, I'm Baz Porter and this is Garcia. I never can pronounce your second and first name, so I'll just say Garcia, it's just easier.