What happens when you sacrifice everything for love - and still lose it all?

Cloe Xhauflaire was living her dream. A classically-trained Belgian actress performing on stages across Europe, she had built the career she'd always wanted. Then love changed everything.

When her partner was diagnosed with cancer, Cloe made the heart-wrenching choice that millions face: sacrifice her dreams to save someone she loved. She put her flourishing career on hold, dedicated her life to his healing, and watched helplessly as he slipped away.

In that devastating moment of loss, Cloe faced the brutal reality many know too well: she had lost her sense of self completely.

But this isn't a story about endings - it's about finding yourself again after sacrifice. From the ashes of her grief, Cloe discovered something powerful: her pain could become her purpose.

Her transformation: From Belgian stages → Career sacrifice for love → Devastating loss → Rebuilding after sacrifice → Creating "Acting Everywhere" coaching → Publishing "Dare to Shine"

If you've ever sacrificed your dreams for others and wondered who you are without them, Cloe's journey will show you the way back to yourself.

Key Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:34 Chloe's Background and Acting Journey
02:28 Life Challenges and Personal Growth
02:54 Favorite Countries and Cultural Experiences
05:00 Love, Loss, and Career Sacrifices
09:08 From Personal Struggles to Helping Others
13:10 Dare to Shine: Chloe's Book and Vision
17:45 Closing Thoughts and Inspirational Message

Cloe's Journey Back to Herself:
Thriving actress → Choosing love over career → Total dedication to partner's healing → Devastating loss → Complete loss of identity → Learning that "you can't save anyone" → Channeling grief into helping others → Creating new purpose through coaching → Reclaiming your identity on your own terms

Sometimes losing everything is the only way to find who you really are. ACTINEVERYWHERE.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Chloe O'Flair
• 2:56 Chloe's International Journey
• 5:35 Love, Loss and Life-Changing Decisions
• 9:18 Finding Purpose Through Pain
• 14:31 The Birth of "Dare to Shine"
• 17:36 Final Thoughts and Emotional Freedom

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Rise from the Ashes podcast. I am joined with an absolute legend in the acting industry, in the personal development industry. She has gone through a hell of a journey and I can't ever pronounce her second name, so I won't even try. Chloe, how are you? She's an author, she's an amazing human being and I want to introduce Chloe to the world. Chloe, can you tell people who you are, what you do and what you're passionate about?

Speaker 2: 0:34

Hi everyone. My name is Chloe O'Flair and I know it's much easier to pronounce than to write because it starts with an X, an XH, and it's crazy. I was born in Belgium, raised in Belgium and it's a typical name in Belgium, but it's much easier. It could be Irish, actually, all flair, but it's not. It's Belgian.

Speaker 2: 0:56

I was raised in Belgium and I did my education there and then I went to drama school in the Conservatory of Brussels and then became an actress from the Conservatory Royal in Brussels, being on stage for many years, and then at some point decided to go to London and then end up to America doing a workshop over there, ending up in a big workshop in America, fall in love in New York and then the whole journey led me to Australia and I unfortunately my partner at that time got cancer.

Speaker 2: 1:36

So I came back to America and then build started working as a lead coach in a big studio over there, susan Batson Studio which is a very renowned acting coach yeah, acting coach business. They are not doing the school anymore, but they were back then. And then, a few years after, I decided to create my own company. I created Acting Everywhere and because I was from Europe, raised and born there, educated there, european actress, and I was in America with the method acting and I decided to match, both make a match and creating something that really worked for me. I also worked in Australia with a fabulous coach, larry Moss, and that mix between everything and adding my experience with the death of my ex-partner, I became a life coach because I wanted to understand the process of the brain, process of what's going on as a human being, and so I mix everything and I create an act in everywhere and I'm doing workshops and training all around Europe and in America.

Speaker 1: 2:51

Well, it's a hell of a journey. I'm going to ask you this what's your favorite country? Because you've traveled quite a bit and that's why I love, because people like you aren't just centralized and they haven't got just the experience of one country. You've been to the States. You've traveled vastly experience of one country. You've been to the states. You've traveled vastly in the states. You've been to australia, most of europe. What's the best part of which is your favorite country and why?

Speaker 2: 3:16

I think there's different countries depending of what I'm looking for, but I think italy has my heart for many reasons. First, for the food, because it's one of the best food in the world. You can say whatever you want. I'm trying to be gluten-free, but when you're in Italy it's impossible. I'm trying to be sugar-free, when you go to Italy, the tiramisu is like just a hell of a tiramisu, so you can't go outside there. The people, the language, everything is over there. So I love going in Italy and I love going coaching there.

Speaker 2: 3:58

Now, regarding the country I basically what's funny is that one of my favorite was England and I was not ready to work there when I started English and learning English, because I moved from Brussels and I went to London and I went straight to America because when I was in London they said they protect the actors so much you're not going to be able to make it with your accent. So that's the reason why I moved to New York. And then the journey. But when I think about it, I think London has this mix between everything I found in New York and the kind of a cool behavior that we have in Belgium and the language that I love English, I love English, so I think that's a country that I really love as well. I like the mix between the strict respect of other and the kind of humor as well. I really love the humor that belgian and english have the close in some reason. That's because they'll laugh about themselves. So that's the, I would say, the two countries that I really love I know I love that.

Speaker 1: 5:00

Can we back up a minute where we, where you, fell in love and that journey because that is a you. The profession you're in is a very flamboyant, illustrious, limelighted career. Is it not a lot of the time, especially being in the media, speaking to people, being this persona for a lot of the time? How did the marriage marry gel in together? How did you meet him and how did that affect your relationship with your career and managing a marriage?

Speaker 2: 5:35

I never got married with him. It's just the thing is, when I was in New York we fell in love. I moved to Australia to visit Australia and to discover I was not speaking English very well back then and then, unfortunately, six months after, he was a famous actor in Australia. I was not aware of it when I met him because I was not really aware of the Australian industry back then and he was born in America but making his career in Australia and his family was in Australia. And then we decided to heal in Australia and then I came back in New York. I started to work hard to make sure that I could help him with my way of helping him.

Speaker 2: 6:23

It was a very weird moment for me because I was really at the top of my acting in Belgium and then I moved over there. I fell in love, I wanted to level up and really rise in New York and I was with a man who was sick and there was no way I could keep going on my journey as an actress with him being over there and struggling alone. So I did everything I could to make things work in New York for him because he had an apartment there, so I rented and transformed it. I did everything, and then we went to Australia and then the life happened and I completely gave up on myself at that moment. I completely dedicated my life to save him and to make sure that I was going to be the one saving him and the one who was going to be stronger than cancer. In fact, I failed, but what I learned from this is that first you're, never going to save anyone, that's for sure.

Speaker 2: 7:32

Because if someone could have been saved, I would have done it, because, with the dedication I had for that man, I truly know that I did everything I could to make it happen. We went to Bali. We're here, I'm excited, drinking sauerkraut and spiraling at three in the morning.

Speaker 2: 7:50

I'm telling you it's not a beautiful journey, but I did and in fact, what's crazy in in this? Because we were both actors I was really emotionally trying to understand what was going on with this journey, the body journey, and how the mind affect. So that led me to a lot of books, a lot of information to understand the process of how thoughts are creating your own journey, how thoughts are creating your own journey, how thoughts are creating your feelings, are creating your reaction and all that. So it led, unconsciously, it taught me what I was going to teach later to help actors to really level up. But at that time I had no idea my mistake, which I don't think it's a mistake today, because my journey has been there and I would have done exactly the same thing with the knowledge I had back then. But there was no way for me to keep going in America and keep driving my force on being an actress and having him struggling over there. So it was really my journey back then to make it happen. And then, when I came back in New York, it was me having to deal with my own self and make it happen.

Speaker 2: 9:09

And what happened is that I realized that there was a lot of actors struggling with emotional disturbance and a lot of mindset. That was not clear, and I am convinced that he had this issue too and he had struggled with anger and resentment and all that. And, believe it or not, I do believe that has a huge impact on the health. I know some people don't. I do believe it and I see that around me and what I realized that is with seeing actors struggling and struggling with what they've been going through as kids and as human being. During the journey, I wanted to be a stand for the help of making them being better for themselves in order for them to succeed and having the mindset that they could have in order for that journey to be a beautiful journey instead of him being a hell of a journey, because we know this industry is so rough, and so I dedicated my time to really help others because I couldn't help him anymore. So somehow I transposed that to my actors and the actors I'm coaching even today.

Speaker 1: 10:28

There's a load of points there that I want to. I could spend all day talking about One of the points that I really is. You said earlier you gave your all to save somebody else. That's a common theme with entrepreneurs, with people who go through journeys, especially women like yourself, who sacrifice everything that they are, including their identity, sometimes in order to please and serve other people. But you took what you learned and you went. I got this and instead of going, this is all happening to me and I can't deal with this. You took it and you built something very remarkable and you reclaimed yourself.

Speaker 1: 11:14

That takes courage. Firstly, there isn't coincidence, because there's no such thing as a coincidence If you look at the word to coincide or to align. Going back to the Sanskrit and how English words are interpreted from Sanskrit never made it. That's another lesson, but all of it is becoming who you're supposed to be. You said something earlier about you gave everything for somebody else, but what I really like is what you said afterwards. I realized that it wasn't meant to be. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:53

At that point, you switched not just mindset from self-service, which is what you've been taught to do by serving someone else in a relationship to. I want to give impact. I want to change people's lives. But you switch mindsets. From there you get a complete 180. Now that just doesn't take courage. That takes a certain kind of person with a certain kind of upbringing and a bigger vision, and that's what I want to talk to you about now. Is that bigger vision? Because the shell of what you are now is everything combined. But now you're like what's next? How do I take that? Help people and go? That's interesting, that's cool. So, yeah, that happened to for me, but you've packaged something. Now that's really I know what it is, um, but you've packaged it into something that really changed people's lives. I've read it. I've read that book from front to back. Can you speak briefly about the book you've just launched? Not the book, anything else but the book you've just done, that's for next time.

Speaker 2: 13:10

So Dare to Shine is really. It's a journey. It's dare to shine yeah, exactly, it's daring and it's there to shine yeah, exactly, it's daring. And it's something that I never did and what I witnessed when I was in New York in the studio, working with those international actors. I was really okay.

Speaker 2: 13:30

Those actors are really sometimes extremely skilled and, as I was too, I have been trained by the best in the world and, as I was too, I have been trained by the best in the world and I was like, okay, what makes the difference between someone who's making it and someone who is struggling day after day after day? And the mix between the mindset and accepting who you are and the truth of what has happened and not feeling embarrassed about it anymore? Because what happened is, when I arrived in New York, I was working in the studios and in scenes and I was struggling with the fact that I was in pain, with all these emotions, and I was using that as the skill as an actor, but it was not acting anymore. It was suffering, and I witnessed that with a lot of actors being on stage or being on set and struggling with what they had inside and not level up to what they can use in order for them to go to the next level. And so Dare to Shine was born because I really wanted to mix everything and give everything for them not to lose the time to dedicate their time to someone else, but dedicate their time to them to be the best person and then helping someone else. Because I was not healed and I was not aware that I was doing that 100% losing myself back then, was not aware that I was doing that 100% losing myself back then.

Speaker 2: 15:02

And what I wanted is how can I, how can an actor come on stage and feeling fully free to express, to love, to create and be the channel, the vessel for another one, to have access to emotions, because that's what we do as actor, right?

Speaker 2: 15:15

So in order for that, and witnessing so many actors on stage and in front of a camera, I was like there is something that we need to heal to let them shine and from there they will help other people to shine. So that was my little contribution to the world to help other people to shine as well. I really thought if one person can be healed and can express herself fully with what she's been going through, then the other one who's been in the other side of the camera will see that, will feel it, and then in the audience, everybody will be able to shine as well. So that was my desire is unleash your true potential and really giving the best you can. But when you're full of block, full of things that have been happening back then, you cannot do it. So the idea was really to give a book to touch many actors in the whole world instead of staying in my little bubble. It was an act of generosity, basically.

Speaker 1: 16:23

I love that. Just hear the passion, not just in your voice I know the listeners can as well but in your mannerisms, your smile. You glow when you light up, when you speak about this and it's something very close to your heart and what the book is about Dare to Shine. Please go and look at it on Amazon and any other stores that have been. The links are below. Go and buy the bloody book, because it's awesome.

Speaker 1: 16:48

The whole book is about authenticity and you don't know this, but I want to share this with the audience and with you now, because I like dropping surprises. I have RAMS, which you know as Results, attitude, mastery and Systems. You've heard that before. I've spoken to you about it, but I added something else in there because of you, and you were the inspiration for this. It's an extra A and it was authenticity. So it's Attitude and Authenticity, mastery and Systems, and you were the inspiration behind it from a conversation that we had a few months ago. So I want to thank you for doing that for me. That was my gift to you and to the world from something you taught me within that last conversation.

Speaker 1: 17:32

I'm going to end it part one here. I really want people to listen to this and go and get that book, because I promise you, if you read it, apply it, understand it, it will change your life. Before we go, chloe, is there anything else you'd like to leave the audience with? An inspiration or a direction? We're going to lead in A cliffhanger, whatever it is.

Speaker 2: 17:56

What I think is that your only fear is an emotion and you can do everything in your life if you nail how to deal with your emotions and once you're digging it and you allow the emotions to be there. They are emotions though they are, they are meant to go away, but we're scared of it. So if you allow them to be and feel the feelings they are there, right, you feel it and you let that emotion be, then you can do everything you want in life, because there is no other fear I love that for my audience.

Speaker 1: 18:37

To Chloe thank you very much, you're awesome. This is the end of part one, but it's not the end. On part two, we'll go in for the essential and what's really going on in her life right now. Chloe, you're awesome. Thank you very much for joining me To my audience, please, and share this with somebody who may need it. Even on a dark day, there's always light at the end of the tunnel, so be the light in the tunnel For my audience. Thank you very much. This is Rise From the Ashes podcast. I'm Baz Porter. This is Chloe. I'm not going to say your second name because I always mess it up. I'm dyslexic and that's just what happens. No-transcript.