From Imposter Syndrome to Influence: Steve Ramona’s ASLA Principle (Part 2)

Struggling with imposter syndrome or hesitant to ask for help? In this powerful episode, Steve Ramona shares how he overcame self-doubt, embraced the Law of Reciprocity, and developed his game-changing ASLA principle—Ask, Shut up, Listen, Ask. Through compelling real-life stories, Steve reveals how active listening and reciprocal relationships can lead to life-changing opportunities.

💡 Key Takeaways:
✔️ How imposter syndrome holds us back—and how to break free
✔️ The ASLA principle and its power to create deeper connections
✔️ Why asking for help is a strength, not a weakness
✔️ Mentorship as the foundation of authentic leadership
✔️ How personal engagement fuels business success
✔️ The true definition of legacy—impact over competition

This conversation will challenge you to rethink leadership, relationships, and the way you engage with the world. Join us and discover how your personal choices can create ripples of positive change.

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⏱ Show Notes & Key Takeaways:

0:02 – Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

• How self-doubt keeps us from asking for help.
• Steve’s personal journey from self-limitation to abundance.

7:15 – The ASLA Principle: Ask, Shut up, Listen, Ask

• Why deep listening builds trust and opportunity.
• How a simple conversation can change your life.

14:32 – Leadership Through Mentorship

• The shift from competition to service-based leadership.
• Why guiding others strengthens your own legacy.

21:10 – The Power of Reciprocity

• How personal engagement transforms networking and business.
• A real-life example of unexpected, high-level connections.

🔥 Ready to redefine your leadership journey? Take action today!

📢 Connec

Chapters

• 0:01 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Serving
• 13:20 Legacy and Service in Leadership
• 18:59 Making Impactful Personal Choices

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

ladies and gentlemen, welcome back for part two. I'm here with steve ramona and this is rice from the ashes podcast burnout to brilliance. In the first part of this we spoke steve about his journey coming from the depths of a. Remind me now because I've forgotten, because we spoke health club, the health club into successful businesses helping other people. I want to dive into the weaknesses that you've come across within yourself and things you've always had to work on but ultimately come out the other side with. We're all human beings and we all have this perception that we're less than something we perceive to be as imposter syndrome. How has imposter syndrome showed up for you, not just in the people you've interviewed, but in yourself as well?

Speaker 2: 0:52

Thank you. I've been on hundreds of shows. This is the greatest question I've ever been asked, because we have to be humble and transparent. And one of the biggest things was I earned, as I told you all at 18, how to serve. One of the biggest things was I earned as I told you all at 18, how to serve. But what I didn't know until I met this multimillionaire who serves and made millions serve. I'm like oh, what's your secret sauce? So I told him hey, I'd give you 12 referrals, five or whatever that is. Give you value. And then you would ask me how can I help? And I literally put my hand up. This is video. I put my hand up in the screen like no, I'm good.

Speaker 2: 1:25

First, that's the stop sign. He says you're screwing it up. I'm like I just met this guy, wait a minute. But then he says let me explain why and this is a big tip for everybody. He says Steve, you give people the. He called them gifts. That's where I got that word. You just gave me three gifts. Let's say and you? I asked you because I'm so excited, I'm so thankful to help me. When you say no, you turn yourself into an a-hole, into a taker. I said, okay, tony, explain that he goes. They're not going to walk away thinking we're an a-hole. They're going to be happy for the gifts but their subconscious is going this ain't good. That's what controls us. So people are just not thinking about you afterwards I've got to get all these gifts. And we don't think about it consciously. It's the subconscious. And I'll tell you what bass.

Speaker 2: 2:13

Once I, the next day, somebody asked me. I said I need help with this. I got 14 referrals from five people because I asked, and I now get three to five referrals daily. I look at my calendar or my email. I've got two referrals right now because I asked for them. And when you open the door we were just talking about in the break, about how you opened that door, so magically you can ask Universe, lord, god, whatever you want to call it doesn't want us not to ask. If you're doing good, receive good back. It's a reciprocal thing, law of reciprocity. But you have to take that step to ask. But I'm going to take it even deeper, and this is a big step.

Speaker 2: 2:56

I developed this principle called the ASLA principle, a-s-l-a. Ask, shut up, listen, ask, shut up, listen, ask. Now people tell me all the time. They smile and you smile and thank you, baz. They go shut up and listen. I'm saying no, they're not.

Speaker 2: 3:14

Let's think about those two actions. Let's look at a Zoom room for your business or a networking group, whatever, and there's 10 people there. Two people's screens are black or it's just their picture. They're not live, they've shut up. They literally can't hear them. Or people muted They've shut up, but if they walk away, they answer the door, go to the bathroom, get a drink. I'm not saying those are bad things, but let's take that action. Are they really listening? I'm in my office, I walk to the front door. I can't hear what's going on, so I'm not listening. So I can't serve people unless I shut up and listen and learn what that person needs, what values there.

Speaker 2: 3:54

And then the most important thing was Tony ad, it was the ask. So I hear as you need this and this, I've got a couple of people. I think that can help you. By the way, what are other challenges you have? So you bring them, serve them, ask more questions, serve them, ask more questions. Now you've built this serving cake that's full of beautiful chocolate with a cherry on top. That guess what? Most of the time, people ask me God, this has been so great, steve, how can I support you? Here's a great story. So I was asked to mentor.

Speaker 2: 4:27

A bartender Guy was a guest on my podcast. He said he wants to start a business. I'm super pumped. I love when young people want to start a business, because it's really a great opportunity. Again, I wish I was 24, because me and you would be blown, but that's a side note. So I met with him and just brought him so much value and opened my email and text to go reach out anytime.

Speaker 2: 4:49

His next question was how can I support you, steve? This has been fabulous. I'm looking for a guest. I want a rock star, a business person that has influenced Interesting. I know the vice president of Google. That's huge. I'm going to back up a little bit. This is a bartender. Did I know the vice president of Google? That's huge. I'm going to back up a little bit. This is a bartender. Did I know he knew the vice president of Google? Hell, no, we never thought that. But because I asked, he's not been on my podcast, but we're still working on it.

Speaker 2: 5:17

I've had billionaires come on my podcast because I asked my guest hey, so-and-so, I'd love it. An hour later I did an email introduction and two days later they're on my podcast. Because I asked again Ask, shut up, listen, ask. I listened that he had a great Forbes rally. I'll put it out there. She's a multi-billionaire. I know her yet. Yeah, of course, and a lot of people have heard that name. She was on my podcast podcast. Now I love podcasting because and I know you do too, because anything else you wouldn't have met with me but because I was able to get her message out, it was good. So that ass shut up, listen, ass principle it works so well. Anybody can do it, an eight-year-old kid to a 95 year old person. Ass shut up and listen. That works for your life and your business.

Speaker 1: 6:04

Talking to Forbes. Shout out to her. She's actually appearing on the podcast as well. I've known her for three or four years and I've been trying to get her an interview with her. I spoke to her years ago, so shout out to Dr Forbes, we're already there. Yeah, he's an awesome human being and again an example of service and helping others Truly an inspiration. And again another example of service and helping others Tridio and inspiration. When we look at the aspects of strategic and tactical questions, you spoke about this briefly before, which I didn't prompt. It's just leading into the next question. You mentioned something about the structure you've created. Is there anything else tactical-wise you do to serve other people in order to bring about reciprocity, not just for yourself, but for themselves as well?

Speaker 2: 6:54

I have questions set up, same questions what are your challenges? What's your goals? How long have you been in business? Let's use those three. There's three questions you can ask. It will lead to conversations, to paths you never thought would lead to, because as they talk and you learn something, you go. Oh, you just mentioned a word. You need to meet Frank because he's a great and now you're serving like crazy. That serving machine is going out there.

Speaker 2: 7:17

Here's another tip, and this is strategic in person or virtually, look people in the eye, don. In person or virtually, look people in the eye. Don't go the eye over video but don't turn around and go. I got a great referral for you. I got this great referral for you. You don't have to yell like I do I'm a little louder than most but look people in the eye, say their name and, if you forgot their name, say what was your name again Baz. Hey, baz, here's a great thing. Practice this, and I love your call to actions to your audience. I'm going to give them one today.

Speaker 2: 7:47

Go out to a restaurant, grocery store and when you're working to check out or pay your bill or work with the wait, whatever that may be use their name three to four times, debbie. Thank you for the water, debbie man, this food was fantastic. Hey, debbie, how's your family doing? You have kids, right. Hey, debbie, how's your family doing? You have kids right. Your whole, I won't say opportunity, but that whole event will completely change Again. I'm going back. People want to be seen, especially a clerk at a grocery store, the guy at the car wash hey, fernando, thank you, that was a great wash. Yeah, the audience, you could just say, hey, that was a great wash and that's okay. But when you pinpoint and use a name, it changes the whole dynamic. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:32

Yeah, that's such a component and I love what you speak into there. Two reasons One, on a psychological level. You're making it personal. If it's on a podcast or a video call, hi Joseph, can you just please turn your camera on? And it's the delivery. Turn your cameras on is different. Hi Joseph, talking to you directly, can you just turn your camera on please? It's a different delivery Psychologically. You're not just calling them out and it's not in a nasty way or derogatory way, you're being polite about it. So using the name of what you've just said is not just powerful on a collective social level, but an internal psychological level, which I love that advice. Thank you very much for that, steve.

Speaker 2: 9:23

You mentioned. Please, I can only add one more strategic tip, because what I've done over the last 200 months 200 managers at restaurants that I've talked to I'm going to write a book called how to Be a Good Customer Not customer service. But the other side. We heard the people screaming yeah, and I do this all the time. I did a couple of weeks with me and my wife were out to dinner and I grabbed the waiter waitress said can you grab your manager? We know what happens right away Something bad, oh my God. And you can see them talking, going. It's stern. You can tell the manager like so they come walking over. Okay, um, sir, how can I be? Hey, what's your name? Hey, trisha, steve, nice to meet you, which was unbelievable.

Speaker 2: 10:06

If I had a restaurant, I'd try to hire her away from that. Good, she'll water her. She was conversating all that and the lady was literally shaking. It really was emotional to her and it doesn't happen all the time, but once in a while and I go, trish, how often do you hear that? She goes? Like did hear it during Christmas Eve, but maybe once a month. I talked to a manager that's been there 20 years not this restaurant, another one last year. He's heard it once a year, consistently for 20 years. Once a year hey, your staff has done a good job. You want to be a better servant? Go out and tell your servers, tell the people that are at the front lines that they're doing a good job, and tell their supervisor and manager, because people aren't doing it. That's a great way to serve and manage. Because people aren't doing it.

Speaker 1: 10:57

That's a great way to serve and it also has another component as well, which I love. What you mentioned there, it's acknowledgement, it's human acknowledgement and in the service-based world that you see in Vegas and other places, any restaurant they're not told, they're just trapped like pieces of meat. I was having a conversation with somebody the other day, a very good friend of mine, her name is her name is lizzie swain, friend of mine, peter swain's wife, and she was saying that they stopped calling their staff vas. They stopped calling them vas because VA, a virtual assistant, is looked down on. So in their company they adopted this concept and I love what this is speaking into.

Speaker 1: 11:43

They treat them as human beings and this is the expectation. This is what with the standard we're working at. If you do it wrong, we will tell you and we will course correct it. We don't work with everybody, but we're here to help and praise you. If you do it wrong, we will tell you and we will course correct it. We don't work with everybody, but we're here to help and praise you, and they do proactively all of the time, but equally, when they miss it, they're like you missed up. This is how you did, this is what happened. This is what we want you to do, but they're coaching and elevating their workforce and they don't treat them like pieces of meat or a waitress, like discarding them because they messed up at an order. Whatever the situation is and to your point, steve, you're treating them again like human beings. You're serving them where the level of respect is that they actually deserve. So they elevate themselves and they do more for the company, which is what I love. Thank you for sharing that well. You're very welcome.

Speaker 1: 12:43

Leadership and spirituality you mentioned something earlier about spirituality and the energy component to it. How has that played a role in your journey?

Speaker 2: 12:54

you look at every leader, that's a really good leader, a servant leader, a bold leader, a strong leader is they served. And one of my guests, oakland McCullough, who's a lieutenant general in the Army I believe I might be wrong, but a shout out to Oakland Oak, I call him. He's a great guy. He had a greatest phrase for leadership Somebody comes up to you and says I'm a leader. You ask one question who are you mentoring today? Not who you drilling, who you yelling at, who you screaming at, who you being negative to. Who are you mentoring, helping them learn and educate, if they tell you nobody at this time you're not a leader. Once you start mentoring, you'll become that leader and then they'll follow you. One of the reasons I do my podcast workshop I want to mentor. I want to be a leader. I've got value that I can bring out of doing it.

Speaker 2: 13:51

Can everybody be a leader or should be a leader? No, we all lead in certain capacities. We lead our animals. I love dogs. I teach my dog not to pee in the house. Go outside. You're leading, You're mentoring your dog. We get to that very level If you think of it that way and make sure you're serving.

Speaker 2: 14:09

And it's about them, not about you, because I believe every coach and every leader, when their students, customer, whatever you want to call them gets accolades, you should be standing right there with them and clapping with them and be proud, not being oh my God, this guy's passing me up Happens in corporate all the time and it really drives me crazy. A sales team I work with a group about two years ago and one of the guys he's like how do I be a better sales guy, serve your compadres, fellow salespeople. Well, how I said if you're hearing him on a sales call and you hear something you could bring value to, you know what I'm saying. When he's done hey, I heard you say this here. Let me give you a tip what you can do next time.

Speaker 1: 14:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:52

You got to think of it this way, especially in sales. But anything he goes, you're on a commission. You might just take it a commission out of your pocket, but you've changed somebody's life. And what is he going to do? He's going to come and ask you for more. Now you get promoted, maybe you get an increase in pay, maybe the universe gets you a better job, who knows? Again, we don't know that, but he came back to me six weeks later and goes man, I have best friends. Now we're going out getting a drink once a week, because what I did so see, that's building a relationship. It's not always, it's not always transact. You transform them. Are you getting a transaction? No, but you're doing well, it goes. Oh my God, it's funny. My commissioners have grown. Mr Universe has talked to you. You get people coming to you, knocking on your door that you ever thought would.

Speaker 1: 15:42

I love that. And you mentioned another guest, colonel Oakland, who I know him, a very nice guy. I've interviewed him on the podcast in season three or four, I believe. But again, these are people who are of service and this is who you attract, this is who gravitates naturally towards you, which this is another reason why the list goes on, why I love what you do and how you show off other people. I want to speak into briefly legacy this is a huge word. It's a macro vision of what people want. So my question to you there, steve, is what do you truly want, not just for yourself, but what do you want to be?

Speaker 2: 16:27

remembered for I want people to go. Steve Ramona served and brought me value, little or big. I want people to see that legacy and they learn from that legacy to do it themselves. I believe legacy mentors, educates and grows other people. Teddy Roosevelt, mentor taught people stuff. Martin Luther King we just had MLK Day. What did he do? What's his legacy? It's still going on today. He's still teaching people today.

Speaker 2: 17:01

Here's the thing about legacy that my business partner has become. A great friend, max told me on one of my podcasts. He said, steve, I look at legacy this way and he's been a CEO eight times, so he's won a lot of companies. He's done it all. He said have you ever watched a film? I said, yeah, he goes well. At the end, you've got your credits right. It's the actors, where it's located, what you think about, steve, an audience. Think about this. What are your credits going to look like when they come to your memorial? It's going to be big, small. What's it going to say? And what are they going to associate you with? And I think about that a lot when I'm meeting and working and serving people. What are my credits in my movie going to look like at the end?

Speaker 1: 17:46

I love that and I would. I just look down because I'm like what are my crepes going to look like? And that's why I have this little white Hold. On a minute it happens. People are like oh wow, yeah, steve, if people want to get a hold of you, if they want to come up here on your podcast, where do you want them to go to? I know you've got LinkedIn and the links will be below. Where else?

Speaker 2: 18:13

Where do you want them to connect with you? You can email me, steve r 1961 at gmailcom. Mention your podcast that you saw me on here or heard me on here and I do business mentoringa couple times a month. I do the podcast. If you want to start a podcast, have a podcast, steve ramona on linkedin. I'm there all the time we can connect. I love to connect with people and again bringing them value and do things to help them grow. Answer any questions you might have.

Speaker 1: 18:34

Thank you very much for your time, your energy and your love, as always, serve, and not just serve people, but serve the world and make it a little bit better each day at a time. So thank you very much for your time. You're very welcome.

Speaker 2: 18:48

You blessed me by being a guest.

Speaker 1: 18:51

You served me me and I appreciate that. Thank you, the pleasure is mine, it's the honor is mine. I will assure you my audience. Thank you very much joining us. Thank you, steve. If you are listening to this and you could take one bold action away from this today, what would it be? Write down, send it into us. I'll pass the message on to steve. And I've got a question for you, a question that I heard today from a mentor of mine. If you were in a situation where you wanted the world to remember you, by what is it you truly want for yourself Not to serve others, others, but for yourself but that one thing changed the components and the world incrementally, just by that one showing up of you as that person. What is it you truly want to be under that for myself? Thank you very much, steve. You're awesome. Share, subscribe and remember we'll be back next week with another episode of rice ministry podcast and I'll see you very soon. Thank you very much.